Say You Love Me by Marion Husband

By Marion Husband

Ben Walker units out to track his father

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He couldn’t remember seeing Ben look so animated, so less like his usual cool self. It was as though Susan Day gave off an electrical charge that had his proud, ironic brother twitching like a gauche boy. Ben shifted from one foot to the other; he drew Susan closer and kissed her shoulder. He laughed. Mark almost put a hand on his arm to steady him. Instead he took out his cigarettes and offered him one. ’ Mark lit his own cigarette. ’ He looked at the woman who had entwined her arm around Ben’s.

She looked down at her drink. At lunchtime, as she did everyday, she would go to the school and look through the railings to see if she could see her boys. Almost always Ben would be playing football and Mark would be standing alone against the school wall watching him, bumping his head gently, rhythmically, against the red bricks. She felt ashamed for him, for his isolation, his strangeness that made the other children keep their distance. He looked like he wasn’t quite right in the head, even though she knew how bright he was, or had been as a baby.

She stood up, her legs trembling. Her skirt lay in a crumpled heap on the floor and she put it on quickly. She pulled on her knickers not bothering with her tights, which would involve sitting back down on the bed. Watching him, she edged past the bed and dived towards the door. Breathlessly she ran down stairs, unlocked the front door and, barefoot, went out on to the street. Ben and Mark were sitting on the kerb. They both turned to look up at her, a heart-breaking mixture of hope and anxiety on their grubby faces.

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