By Arenas, Reinaldo; Arenas, Reinaldo; Olivares, Jorge
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Extra resources for Becoming Reinaldo Arenas : family, sexuality, and the Cuban Revolution
Example text
The person I was, in a Cuban context, who lived in a small room in Havana, who would chat with his next-door neighbor, and whom his friends would visit at all hours at night. What I miss the most about Cuba is the fact that there I did not have to question my existence because I was absolutely sure of it. Once I went into exile, my existence is incessantly questioned. What am I? Am I Cuban, Hispanic, Latino? It is really a tragedy. What I miss the most about Cuba is, in short, the authenticity I have lost.
Like other young writers who had fallen into disfavor, he was demoted to proofreader, and eventually those in this position were not allowed to do anything at all—just show up, attend meetings, and applaud. More significantly, Arenas became the object of constant harassment and vigilance by the secret police for writing works that deviated from the socialist realist mode and failed to celebrate the Revolution, for smuggling his manuscripts out of Cuba, and for living a promiscuous gay life. Years later, in Antes que anochezca, Arenas had no qualms about telling his readers that in Cuba he regularly had sex on public beaches with multiple partners, that young men queued up outside his room waiting to have sex chapter one .
Despite all the turmoil in his life, Arenas never lost sight of who and what chapter one . 32 . he was: a writer, first and foremost. ≥≥ If before the aids epidemic Arenas engaged in his writing as compulsively as he did in sex, in the mid-1980s, fearful of hiv infection, he gave up sex and channeled all his energies into his writing. In 1985 he wrote to the Camachos, ‘‘New York with the aids problem . . is unbearable. . Fortunately my health is good . . , but psychologically it is very depressing living in the center of the plague.